Breakfast At Zippy’s

Today I had breakfast at Zippy’s. Local food, modest price, quick service, good taste. There’s not much more to say.

Zippy’s is the local equivalent of a fast food restaurant without the fast. Most neighborhoods on the island have a Zippy’s near by, and nearly everyone knows someone who works at Zippy’s or used to work at Zippy’s.

Hawaii is a blend of many cultures and so is the food. Hawaiian, Filipino, Japanese, Chinese, Korean and more, all mixed together on a menu so long that when you stand up to read it (it’s on the wall, just like at McDonald’s) you need to make up your mind and order quickly, or you get tired from reading the choices and need to sit down.

The breakfast menu is easy. Only 12 items on the list. I told the girl behind the counter that I wanted scrambled eggs and Spam.

She said, “What kind of starch do you want?

I said, “I prefer spray starch but I just haven’t used it since many shirts are wrinkle-free these days.

That didn’t even get me a chuckle or a grin. I can’t believe she heard that line before. I made it up on the spot. She was under 30 so maybe that age group never heard of spray starch. Or, ironing. Or, irony.

Then she said, “No. Starches. White rice. Brown rice. Fried rice. Potatoes– hash browns…” and six more items I’d never heard of, couldn’t remember or repeat, but I now know they’re in the extensive starch family at Zippy’s.

I asked her to repeat the list. Hey, it was breakfast. That means early in the morning. I don’t hear so quickly early in the morning.

She repeated the list, slowly, as if an “I’m senile” neon light was flashing on my forehead. I stopped her at hash browns and added that to my order. $5.50 for two scrambled eggs, four slices of Spam, and hash browns.

The Spam was good. It’s hard to screw up Spam. The eggs were average; not nearly as good as scrambled eggs at Burger King. I don’t know what they put into their eggs but it’s probably illegal and best not to know. Culpable deniability, and all that.

The hash browns were better than Burger King, not quite as good as McDonald’s, and nowhere close to those served at Orchid’s in the Halekulani Resort and Hotel in Waikiki. $50 more gets you better tasting hash browns and an ocean view.

Will I go back to Zippy’s for breakfast? If there’s not a Burger King or McDonald’s nearby, and if no one will buy me breakfast at Orchid’s in the Halekulani in Waikiki. Otherwise, sure. Why not?