I have one word for people who drive too slow. Get out of the way. Move it. Wake up. Get a horse.
Sorry, I know those phrases are more than one word. I could have been more succinct, but “Die!” seemed a little harsh. But only a little. You understand the sentiment, right?
I commute about an hour to 90-minutes a day, Monday through Friday, and it’s always through the middle of morning and afternoon rush hour in the heart of the city. That means plenty of traffic both going and coming.
During rush hour, most drivers seem to know where they’re going and they’re business-like about getting there. Other drivers appear to have obtained a drivers license via mail order and may not know where they are, let alone how to get where they want to go.
Today was a rough day. Maybe it was state workers on their way to and from what they laughingly refer to as work. When you get paid that much to work that little maybe the sense of urgency that most of us have in traffic is absent. Whatever it is, too many of those drivers were in front of me.
There were two drivers this morning that sat in a single lane in front of a red light. When the light turned green, each then discovered a left turn signal and turned it on– blocking traffic behind them for five or six car lengths.
Three other drivers headed down King Street in the center lane with their left turn signal on. You guessed it. Eventually they turned right.
The real killers are the ones who drive so slowly they could get a parking ticket. Sometimes they’re looking left or right, as if they’re lost and driving slower will help them get back on track. Other drivers just look straight ahead as if they’ve been hypnotized by those flashing green and red lights and forgot how to use the accelerator pedal.
No, the lights don’t actually “flash” red to green and back again. But when you’re a zombie driving a car it looks like flashing whenever the light signal changes.
Why the rant? I don’t want to die while driving back and forth through downtown traffic. It may well happen.
Do the math. If slow drivers cause me to spend an extra five minutes in traffic each day, they’re reducing my life span. How much? Five minutes a day sitting in traffic doing absolutely nothing, except the slow burn rant, and mentally cataloging yet another reason why cousins who marry should not be allowed to have children, and said children should not have a license to drive.
Five minutes a day is 25 minutes a week, which is 1,200 minutes a year (48 weeks, allowing for a couple of vacation weeks, and those stress-relieving long holiday weekends). That’s 20 hours a year. Do that for 40 years and it’s 800 hours, or 33 days of my lifetime driving behind someone who should never be allowed to drive because they’re committing a felony.
Time theft should be a felony. It’s not, but they’re stealing time. My time. Think about all the lost time the next time you’re stuck in traffic, not because of heavy traffic, not because of an accident, and not because of any other reason besides the driver in front of you is just driving soooooo slowly it hurts your eyes.
What could you be doing with that extra month those time thieves have stolen from your life? Maybe my “one word” solution isn’t such a bad idea.