My wife and I were watching television recently and one of the characters asked the question, “What’s the sexiest part of my body?”
That got it started. You’re either offense, or defense, or you don’t play at all. Since the game had already started, I decided to go on the offense.
Good move, Ron. My wife and I have been happily married for over a dozen years, and anything more than a dozen out of a total of over 30 isn’t a bad average. We know each other well, and don’t run into too many surprises these days.
Besides, I figured there’d be trouble if she asks “What’s the sexiest part on my body?” first. How does a guy win without sounding like a self serving political hack?
Something like “Oh, honey. All your parts are sexy” is worth about $5.00 less than a cup of whatever frothy, addictive drug they serve at Starbucks. I know not to go there, so I didn’t. If you don’t have a defense ready, an offense is all you’ve got left.
So, I head on the field as the offense and blurt out, “Honey, what’s the sexiest part of my body?” I expected a delayed response. She’s considerate that way. Or simply slow. I half expected an answer somewhere in the territory of my dreamy puppy-dog eyes, or the silky touch of my hands during a massage. Who could resist those two options?
Without blinking an eye, she responded with the totally unexpected, “Your butt.”
I managed an instant and incredulous look of surprise (because, well, that’s what it was; so little thought or effort was involved in her rapid response) and responded with, “My what?”
“Your butt–bottom, behind, buns. It’s tight and firm and I like that,” she said.
“Who are you and what have done with my wife,” I asked? “That part is always covered up. Who looks at my butt and thinks “sexy part”?”
“I do,” she says, “And I see it more than anyone else. I like it. It’s nice.” She didn’t even bother to ask me about the sexiest part on her body, probably assuming, correctly, that I would say, “Honey, all your parts are sexy.”
Amazing. Just when you think you really know someone…