There’s a new national security threat and it’s been uncovered in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. It’s the underwire bra.
It’s not enough that aging grandmothers in wheelchairs have to remove their shoes when passing through airport security, but now there’s word that the under wire bra is not wanted in federal courthouses.
Lori Plato went to an Idaho courtroom and met up with the homeland security efforts to find the danger in anything that contains atoms. Once they’re done with bras, what’s next? Tampons?
Lori set off alarms when she and her husband entered the federal courthouse in Coeur d’Alene. She was asked to remove her bra, but the homeland security storm troopers didn’t give a private place to do so. No privacy screen. No women security officers.
Just a very slow moving line of spectators, I presume.
What’s going on? Heightened security combined with sensitive technology which can detect metal in a bra. I’ve already had the aluminum colored chewing gum wrappers detected in my pockets. What’s next, dental fillings? Perhaps only those without cavities will be able to travel via airlines or enter federal courtrooms of the future.
Necessity is the mother of invention. I envision a whole line of “security clothing” which is guaranteed not to set off alarms at security gates, or cause smirks and laughter among security personnel.
Perhaps women should not wear a bra at all when going through security checkpoints. Simply jumping up and down for 60 seconds to see what contraband pops out would suffice.