Sudoku is a logic-based puzzle game that’s akin to a numerical crossword puzzle. Without the words.

Pencil and paper are the tools of trade for Sudoku, though there are plenty of Sudoku applications for Mac and PC. Too many? Yes.

Why? As with any good puzzle or game, Sudoku can be addicting. Addictions take time and energy. There’s no warning of that in Sudoku for Dummies (yes, I bought the book).

Sudoku, as the story goes, was actually started in the US back in the 1970s, caught on big in Japan less than a decade later, and has gone world wide in the past couple of years.

What is Sudoku? It’s a puzzle in which you bleed time for no apparent reason. At least crossword puzzles stimulate the brain and help improve your vocabulary.

Sudoku stimulates that part of your brain which controls frustration. The same part that golfers use.

The idea of Sudoku is to enter a number from 1 to 9 in each cell of a 9×9 grid. The grid is made up of 3×3 subgrids, called regions. Each row, column, and region can contain only one instance of each of the numbers, 1 through 9.

What tools do you need? A pencil. Patience. Logic. And time (seems to work best with patience). Or, get the book, Sudoku for Dummies, now in 3 volumes.

How much of a dummy does a person have to be to have all three volumes?

Sudoku on your computer or iPhone works the same way, except you don’t need the Sudoku magazines and books. Each puzzle is provided by the computer application.

Surprisingly, there’s actually a strategy for solving a Sudoku puzzle.

First, you scan. Scanning is the typical starting strategy, though it’s not limited to the beginning of a Sudoku session. You can waste time scanning at any point during the puzzle chase.

Next, it’s Marking up. If you can’t find any more numbers, then you need to mark specific numbers in the blank cells using what’s called subscripts and dots. Now you’re wasting time using the utility of a #2 pencil.

Then it gets complicated. What’s great for computerized users is that Sudoku lets you waste time and gray matter simultaneously while using a $2,000 electronic device instead of a cheap paperback booklet.

Don’t you love the progress we’ve made in the past 100 years?

After many weeks of head scratching, keyboard clanking, and listening to the sound of gray matter falling to the floor, I figured out Sudoku.

It’s a Satanically inspired puzzle designed purely to keep mankind, womankind, and the smaller versions of each from utilizing our time in an efficient and effective manner.

Goodbye, Sudoku. We hardly knew ye.