“How do you catch a butterfly?” That was the question I asked a young friend of ours; a smart and beautiful girl with an amazing array of talents and skills.

Sarah (not her real name) could play the violin so well that she received a four-year scholarship at a nearby university. She spoke multiple languages. She was a devoted runner and soccer player. She loved children. Sarah finished her studies and got a job in her chosen career as a registered nurse.

All was well with the world but Sarah wanted to get married and settle down.

Easier said than done, right?

Time and again Mister Right turned out to be Mister Wrong. Disappointed, Sarah had to return home to live with her family; her dream unfulfilled.

Before she left, my wife and I drove her back to her apartment. Along the way she described what she wanted in life and the struggle she was going through.

I asked her, “How do you catch a butterfly.”

She responded, “What do you mean?”

Again, “How do you catch a butterfly?”

She responded, “First you need a big net with a long pole. Then, you need to travel to a place where butterflies live. After that you try to use the net to capture a butterfly that is near to you.”

That makes perfect sense but you see where this is going, right?

I asked Sarah, “How much success have you had at catching a butterfly?”

It took a moment of silence for the weight of the question to sink in. Sarah frowned.

“Not much. I have to go back home to my family.”

I said, “You forgot one important and time honored method to catch a butterfly.”

Seriously? What’s left. Big net on a stick. Field of butterflies. Run around awhile.

“Sometimes you have to let the butterfly come to you.”

She frowned again.

Shortly after that Sarah moved back to be with her family. Within six months she met a nice young man who was introduced to her by a friend. They were a perfect match, courted appropriately, got married and lived happily ever after.

Sometimes you have to let the butterfly come to you.